gratitude – Catsby: outnumbered

(How I squashed my ‘overwhelm’ and started the best day with a stolen avocado)

Last week I hit a wall.. and then I fell down, hit the ground and rolled until I reached the edge and free-fell off that, too.

Basically there was a lot of feeling low and out of control.

It was shit.

Baby was getting 5 teeth at once (because why not), he was also in ‘leap 8’ (aka a clingy AF phase in his development aka some sort of baby-life crisis), I had a court application to produce against our old real estate managers, and daycare was closed on my one kid-free day.

I was done.

I said: ‘I’m done’.

I said ‘I’m done’ a lot. So obvs my partner went out twice that week and left me alone with the offspring, and I broke.

There was a lot of yelling and some tears.. then a lot of stone-cold silence, before, finally, a decision was made:

I’m going to have to claim some life back.

On Monday I went to the gym and then we had a huge playdate with a friend (read: nate had a playdate while I offloaded all my anger to a friend).

On Tuesday we had swimming, gym, and then I went to the cinema (like a grown up) with the same friend, and with no children. Also cake.

On wednesday I swam, and then had yet another huge playdate (talk) with another friend.

On Thursday kid 1 had daycare, kid 2 went to creche while I swam, and then we shopped. Babykid even slept while I spent about 40 minutes in a glorious shop filled with stationery, browsing and taking my time with their sale.

And then there was today. Lovely, lovely today.

Ryan took the kids to daycare while I made smashed avo on toast.

The avo used may or may not have been procured by my 3 year old while we visited Australia Zoo.

There’s a baby in that avo tree

The kangaroo-petting area of Aussie Zoo may or may not be home to many great avocado trees.

I may or may not have had one of Steve Irwin’s avos for breakfast today.

Then a friend came over for a coffee and she completely convinced Ryan I needed some money for a new swimming costume. (Okay but I really did, because mine did NOT keep things in place while I swam backstroke).

After a lot of discussion and browsing, we found the most beautiful costume in a moment that genuinely resembled finding ‘the’ dress.

‘You guys, I think we’ve got it’

‘Really? Can we see?!’

‘What do you think?’

‘Yes! That’s it! That’s the one!’ (Cue tears and dancing etc etc)*

After our swim I went and got my nails done with a friend from work. (Also got a bit laughed at by the lady doing my nails because I haven’t had them done before and I was being socially awkward but whatever.)

Then I picked the babiest one up and we had the cutest baby playdate with cute baby cuddles and baby hide and seek..

And then it was now and I am so chilled and content that I feel like I am completely in the middle of being ‘whelmed’.

It is so bloody hard to accept that we need to take some time for ourselves. It is so hard to accept that we can’t actually always do it all and put everyone else first and not stop and breathe and replenish.

I’ve really just had 5 beautiful, indulgent days.. but my kids haven’t suffered for it at all. I’m happy and so are they.. Ryan is happy cos I’m not a raging stresshead. The boys have had big plays, and are pretty oblivious to anything else..

But I know it’s not just me that feels too guilty to ask for this stuff. I mean, I definitely don’t need all this indulgence every week; I certainly don’t need weekly nail appointments, and I definitely need to study, rather than go to the cinema; but I also need a break every now and then before I spontaneously combust, explode and freefall, taking everyone around me along for the ride.

I’m off to eat some coconut icecream now. Hope you get some time for you.

*reaction may be slightly exaggerated

Nanma & Nate – Wimbledon UK

My Mumma is a Boss-Mumma.

She raised two extremely different daughters, in two extremely different generations, solo, for two extremely different reasons.

I’ll give you some background:

My sister and I have an 11 year age gap.

Our Mother raised my sister as a single mother, during a time when it was almost unheard of, really.

It’s hard to comprehend just how recently unwed mothers were shipped off to convents under a veil of secrecy, to have their precious babies taken away from them and re-homed with ‘more suitable’ parents, but it happened, and it happened incredibly close to when my Mother had my sister. It even happened to another beautiful mumma in my family.

Thankfully, Mum was able to keep my sister. She juggled work and parenthood alone, right up until she met my father. They married, and had me.

I was born with a heart condition, and sadly, my father passed away in a car accident before it was operated on.

Mum now had two daughters, one facing open heart surgery, and was about to go through single-parenthood all over again.

She did it, and she did it well.

I have no idea how, but she held down a stable, full-time job. She provided us with everything we asked for. She took us on holidays, she spent time with us, she made us feel secure and loved. I’m sure I had questions as a small child, but overall I only considered my childhood to be a normal, happy one.

That’s a huge testament to how much hard work she put in to motherhood.

I genuinely believe that if my Mother had $10 left to her name, and she even thought for a second that my sister and I were struggling, she would give us $4 each and leave herself with $2. Then she would feel guilty about it, and try to give us every last cent.

Parenthood is not easy. Ever. You could have all the money, all the resources, all the patience and love; but it is still not going to be easy.

So, in honour of my Boss-Mumma, I wanted to do a shout out to all of the Boss-Mummas out there this Mother’s Day.

Firstly to all of you single-mummas; smashing all the stereotypes, facing all the judgement, tackling all of the dramas and trying to desperately fill all of the roles: You are amazing, be proud.

To all of you mummas to be; dealing with your own hormones, your body’s changes, your fears and doubts, while also dealing with literally EVERYONE having an opinion on what you can and can’t eat and drink, what you should or shouldn’t do/buy/think.. even how you should sleep: You are amazing, it will all work out, you will work it out.

To all of you new-mummas; never sleeping, hardly eating, adjusting to the sudden influx of experts on your own life and your own journey, trying to remember your own name and keep your family afloat, all while trying to work out who you just became: You are amazing, and I promise you’ve got this.

To all of you working-mummas; tackling drop-offs and pick-ups, switching between a work-brain and a home-brain, facing your own set of judgement and your own sense of guilt: You are amazing, a solid role-model, and the appreciation will come.

To all of you studying-mummas; getting up early and staying up late, working your butt off to try and better yourself and your prospects, justifying your choices and looking to the future, while, yet again, facing all the judgement: You are amazing, you are strong enough and smart enough to do this; it will all be worth it.

To all of you stay-at-home mummas; keeping your family together, keeping them all clean, fed, warm, happy, holding everything down, and yep, facing all that judgement too: You are amazing, you are valuable, you are irreplaceable.

To all of you young-mummas; finishing off school/college/still deciding what direction you want to take your life in, starting from scratch and watching your peers live a totally different life: You keep focusing on you. Honestly, I don’t think we ever have our sh!t together, we are all just working it out as it comes: You are amazing, you can handle this.

To all of you older-mummas; trying to find a group of your peers to relate to, wading through an abundance of advice from friends who have lived it all already, still juggling the judgement and the self-doubt: You are amazing, you deserve to enjoy this, and you are allowed to still be learning.

To all of you step-mummas; embracing, raising and loving those children as though you made them yourselves: You are amazing. Blended families aren’t easy to keep harmonious, but what an accomplishment when it works.

To all of you mothers in-law; accepting, welcoming and loving the person your baby has decided to make family. You are amazing, well done for handing over the mantle, for expanding your hearts and your lives to these ‘chosen ones’.

To all of you Grand-mummas; trying to help, trying to love and parent your babies with babies of their own: You are amazing, and loving grandparents are a valuable luxury.

To all of you adoptive and foster-mummas; opening your hearts and your homes to children that need it the most: You are amazing, inspiring, and I am totally in awe of you.

To all of you dad-mummas and mumma-daddies; you guys holding a family together without the societally accepted and generally expected female or male counterpart, whether you are a same sex couple or one parent flying solo: You are amazing, you are tearing up an outdated rulebook, and you are important.

To all of you mummas of babies no longer with us; whether those around you know about your loss or not; it counts. You deserve to be thought of, considered, and loved. Mother’s day can be so, so hard, and for those who suffered a loss, particularly one that was not openly known, it can be a day of solitude, reflection and grief. You are amazing, and you are not alone.

To all of you with mummas no longer with us; my love and heart goes out to you.

Happy Mother’s day. ♥

©CatOwens2017

P.s. below are some of my favourite mumma pics, of the boss mammas in my life, and in the lives of my loved ones. Share and tag your mumma! I’d love to see yours?