The break over Christmas and new year was pretty good.. heaps of family time, heaps of beach days and heaps of junk food.
Towards the end I started dreading Ryan’s first week back at work, because life is so much easier when you have a ratio of 1 child : 1 adult, but I had agreed to cover swimming lessons for two mornings that week, along with beginning my new Sunday shift, so I was also aware that I’d be getting a break from motherhood every other day.
Yes, that’s actually how mums feel sometimes: going to work can be a lot more relaxing than staying at home, even if, like mine, your work involves teaching 4-6 babies/toddlers/children per 1/2 hour.
With regards to teaching swimming:
1) it’s fun, and
2) other people’s kids are more likely to actually listen to you. If they don’t.. you hand them back after 30 mins anyway and carry on with your life.
As the week approached, though, mum-guilt started fully kicking in and I started panicking about Nate escaping or behaving badly at the creche at my work, or about Beau being confused/frightened/sad and feeling like I’d abandoned him. (I should probably mention here that each shift is around 4hrs long, and I’m aware that I’m completely neurotic.)
Anyway, I had a baby play date with a friend (read: coffee) and basically offloaded all of my confusing thoughts about actually wanting a break, but feeling guilty, and wanting to stay at home but feeling guilty, then wanting to work but feeling guilty, blah blah you get it.
The chat helped me massively, as did the link she sent me afterwards (http://hurrahforgin.com/2016/07/07/the-shitty-guilt-fairy/ ) and the mention of the gym membership she just got, with creche included.
It’s like the clouds parted, a choir of angels began singing, and an impossibly bright light shone down on me.
Gyms have creche facilities. Duhh.
I can have an hour for myself every day, the kids can get out of the house (and into air-con), have a play, and I don’t have to go back to work just to afford the daycare fees.
So I signed up and began on Saturday. I’m completely stiff, and have the core strength of slightly undercooked scrambled eggs, but it’s so good.
The boys survived day 1 of creche at my work. I even managed to get a class covered midway through my shift so I could sneak out to feed my suddenly-and-not-so-conveniently bottle-refusing baby, and some more of the mum-guilt disappeared. Thank god I work for and with such understanding people.
The next task is to actually get back into studying 😂. I can’t blame Christmas madness or any of that any longer, so the first logical step for me is by writing here.
I hope you all had some time with your families, and getting back into it all isn’t too brutal.
Also, is it completely of the question to put the kids into the gym-creche, and then just lie on an exercise mat/take a shower alone? Or is it just mildly frowned upon?!