and now for something different

I don’t really understand this week, so I gave up thinking about it.

N’s daycare days got shifted around as we are flying to Melbourne for a wedding tomorrow, the weather has been all over the place, and I’m just generally disorientated. My brain feels like cotton wool and I have been procrastinating on top of avoiding, above some old fashioned ignoring.

On Monday I put N into daycare and went to the local shopping centre. While I was there I bumped into someone I knew, out with 3 (beautiful) kids under 4. I made an offhand comment about her bravery (as it takes a lot of mental preparation for me to go anywhere with my 2 without backup). A random lady then took it upon herself to talk over us, looking at baby B, then to me, firmly saying ‘there’s really no issue if you actually train them while they’re little’.

I’m sorry but, what?

Who are you and why are you talking over us? Have you met my kid? Do you have any idea how old he is? Are you seriously suggesting that small children are obedient and well behaved as long as you ‘actually train them’?

(Let me just add here that I may have already been fairly sensitive after a night of no sleep)

I looked at her, with fairly solid ‘f-off’ eyes, and went: ‘HAHAHAH!’ before resuming my conversation.

The younger chick she was with started saying something along the lines of ‘I don’t even try it, either, (kid’s name) just runs off’, and I tried to forget her existence.

I’m a bit over it, to be honest.

I know there are times my opinion is disagreed with (just ask my darling partner), but I’d like to think I don’t just blurt it out at people that haven’t asked for it whatsoever? Like, at least I’m involved in the conversation first, right?


Anyway, I have 5 assessments to do (again, procrastinating on top of avoiding, above some old fashioned ignoring) and one is to write a poem, so I channelled my inner rage and made it rhyme a bit, and the result is below, so please enjoy.

Or don’t, whatever; it’s your life.


I didn’t ask for your advice (but you gave it anyway)

I was talking with an acquaintance, unaware of your existence

When you threw in some parenting tips

I did not request your input on how I should parent my kids.

Please do not tell me how to ‘train’ him; to ‘eliminate resistance’

You’ve never met my child

(he wasn’t there, and he’s not a dog)

I think toddlers push their boundaries; it’s not always about persistence.


I understand that you were trying to help


Somewhere, deep down

But you were speaking out of turn

My only response was to frown.


I didn’t request a lecture, while waiting for the doctor

On the reasons we vaccinate

All the dangers, the potential horror

The hope to eliminate


I had told you we were there for that

Yet you took it upon yourself

To impart your impeccable wisdom

And ramble about ‘pack health’


I understand that you were trying to help


Deep down inside

But you were offensive and unnecessary

I was polite – I felt obliged.


When you repeatedly tell us

To do it ‘this way’ or ‘that’

To not spoil, to not pander;

To not immediately react


You assume we want the same outcome you had

You ignore the pitfalls; the bad.


There are so many reasons we differ

Many variables at play;

The economy, research

even weather

Could be among the reasons for change.


I understand that you’re trying to help


Deep down

But I can see those outcomes

I’m avoiding them

I’m allowed.


Perhaps we do know better now

Perhaps our children are different

‘They turned out fine’ is not justification,

and it’s subjective; your opinion


Perhaps we see the dangers now

Perhaps we are just belligerent


And perhaps you really are blind to fault

To mistakes made long ago

Or perhaps you are in fact quite perfect

And it is I that refuses to know


I do understand; you’re just trying to help


Deep down

But at some point we must make our own mistakes

You made yours

It’s our turn now.

2 thoughts on “and now for something different

  1. Oh ohhhh says:

    I love you !! Bahaha I also love this!!

    Everykid , every parent , every family is completely different .

    There have been so many times I’ve wanted to tell mothers to wake up to themselves . But I havnt .

    Times I’ve wanting to say … “You’re kid is 10 , he can dress his god damn self ” …
    But I havnt

    There is a fine line between helping and it’s none of your buisness and totally not your life .

    Be you and live your life any god damn way you please .

    Ps I’m going to be a vegetarian soon but I’m still going to eat lamb is that allowed ?


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